If you know me, you know I have endometriosis. This year I even started to share work about living with the condition on this blog. I have quite a fun little monthly project called #BloodWork where I document one of the realities of having the condition and make funny, fun little reimagined images from phone-cam pictures. I recognise that some readers of this blog find it confronting... blood IS confronting. It shouldn't be when it's just menstrual blood but alas...
I am so excited about abstract painting that I am openly sharing my process pretty much daily over on Instagram... Siobhán Vs Abstract And secondly, because I just published a demo of a tune and intend to finally start sharing demos regularly on this site. Health challenges are probably the number one reason I have struggled to share my songs over the years, through performance and cataloguing through recording. I also have young kids, so for better or worse my songs won't be given the production treatment I would like to give them before putting them out into the world. I have had to make peace with my own limitations over the years it regards to how my health affects ALL areas of my life but it's affect on art-making is very hard for me to accept, when it comes to performance in particular. Endometriosis can often feel like 'a life half lived' but chuck in the racket in my head and... ... ... well just getting out of bed can feel impossible on bad days. That's me, eleven years ago, on the Sunshine Coast, recording. At the beginning of a wonderful but challenging decade that would see me make nowhere near the strides I had hoped to with music and song-writing. And this is me now, baby down for nap, menstrual products and pain-killers stocked up, still wearing my nightie, recording a guitar part. This is me, knowling my limitations and deciding to make some art in spite of it all!
March is Endometriosis Awareness Month.
1 in 10 women live with this currently incurable disorder. I first started struggling with Endo when I started having a regular period when I was 12. That was 21 years ago. 11 years ago, when I was 22, I was officially diagnosed after pelvic keyhole surgery. It had taken 10 years to be diagnosed and many trips to Doctors saying: 'I think I have #Endometriosis - I need help!' During surgery a lump of endometrial tissue was removed. The lump was described by my surgeon as being the size of a golfball. After surgery symptoms continued and I have struggled to maintain a professional life due to be incapacitated each month with chronic pain, fainting episodes, migraines, exhaustion, anemia and sometimes simply because the bloodloss is just too heavy to leave the house. I have also struggled to persue my passions! I have tried many pain-management medications and explored many expensive 'alternative' options to manage pain and dysmenorrhea with very little success. I experienced some reprieve from symptoms after the birth of my daughter but six years later I had a second child and for the last 18 months I have found life with Endo once again very difficult to manage. At times, my relationships have been negatively impacted, particularly my marriage. I wouldn't wish this disorder upon any woman and I think if men were living with it and having to manage the pain and it's impact on every area of their lives it would have received much more attention by now! Help us gain awareness during March so that one day soon we can diagnose and treat this condition better and work towards a cure. WOMEN'S HEALTH MATTERS! WOMEN MATTER! HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY! If you have come this far into the post and are not sure what you're looking at yet then you probably don't know me personally, I have wanted to make some work around my life with Endometriosis for many years now but I have never been able to do too much during the worst of it each month... during those days I can't really focus on the approach, let alone the execution of making art. I do have about 5 pictures from 2009, some self-portraits and some images from the darkened room I would make for myself during my monthly, self-imposed confinement. Those shots were taken on a DSLR and honestly, it's a hassle thinking about getting the 'big camera' out... the pictures you see here are phone-cam pix...
A twenty-two day cycle isn't the shortest cycle I've ever had but it still feels too short. It wasn't even the end of January and I was into my second bleed for the year. I have been tracking my cycle closely this month in an effort to understand myself better and pinpoint the times when I have more energy and when I need to get more rest and it was really helpful. It's always really helpful and I really recommend all bleeding womyn do this, Anyway, once again, what came from the shapes left on the sheets were pretty funny. Endometriosis is not fun, sometimes menstruation isn't fun but this little project is FUN! If you have come this far into the post and are not sure what you're looking at yet then you probably don't know me personally, I have wanted to make some work around my life with Endometriosis for many years now but I have never been able to do too much during the worst of it each month... during those days I can't really focus on the approach, let alone the execution of making art. I do have about 5 pictures from 2009, some self-portraits and some images from the darkened room I would make for myself during my monthly, self-imposed confinement. Those shots were taken on a DSLR and honestly, it's a hassle thinking about getting the 'big camera' out... the pictures you see here are phone-cam pix...
So, now that I find myself having a tough time of it again, I thought I really should do something with all the bloody, BLOODY towels. Each month there are so many flippin' towels and when they are unfolded they reveal such brilliant patterns. So there it is... the blood made the work! HA! I didn't actually have to 'do' anything... but bleed... the blood made the art and the art is much less serious than I thought it would be, or should be... but it doesn't have to be does it? Endometriosis is finally getting the attention in the press, and in federal parliament that is deserves... well, the attention that the womyn who live with it deserve. So here are just some of the towels and patterns from a morning of bleeding like a motherlover on New Year's Eve 2017/2018. I'll be back next month and every month this year to show you what the blood shows me... and for once, I plan to have a little fun with the dysmenorrhea. NOTE: THE NEXT COUPLE OF IMAGES ARE OBVIOUSLY BLOOOOOOOOD, but it's menstrual folks... either way, you've been warned! |
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