THEMES AUSTRALIA | MIGRATION | HOME | GHOSTS MY CHILDREN | BIRTH | WOMEN'S BUSINESS | GRACE WOMEN'S SPIRITUALITY | CONNECTION TO PLACE I worked on things till the early hours this morning, the baby stole more sleep but I got up early and I am happy to say it's done! The questions I ask myself right now: How do I explore what this place means to me using a visual language that is my own? How do tell the story of being a #Celt in this land? 25 years on the #EastCoast of #Australia - through the #highlands - on the #shores and navigating those #BigCities - days driving through the #desert into the center - how do paint what I feel here? The person who brought me here didn't stick it out, didn't make this place #home - had no respect for what was here before and didn't see nearly enough of the colours here- the irony of that man being a ghost is not lost on me. I don't want to be a ghost here. Being a 'blow in' I wonder what is it to be OF a place? Eveything is set up to make it too easy to just take so much from this land. There are towns and cities that are part of me but I am not longer part those places, OF those #communities - am I of this place yet? 3 years here, 25 years putting roots down. Does the land know me yet? Recognise my voice? I try and tread lightly, I try and add my voice to the chorus! My daughter turns 8 this week... in #Irish her name means BRIGHT. She is a bright beautiful #Australian Winter... she brightens this cold season... she brightens with the cold... loves the rain and storms and playing on and in ice. She runs warm... a true Winter baby. Even when difficult memories come up... the abuse I experienced during her birth, even when #PTSD reminds me that some things never leave you... she holds the darkness back with her SHINE. #MotherhoodIsSacred I messed up a #LargeCanvas but it lead me to discovering how much a love tearing up painted #canvas - what felt a bit devastating after waiting so long for new #supplies lead to a new #discover - finding a technique I want to use regularly in my process! We are #LayersOfRock upon the Earth's #mantle - pushing up against eachother, layer upon layer, generation upon generation. Last year a Boon Wurrung woman said to me 'you put your baby's placenta in the ground here' - she showed me how to connect my other baby to country and then asked me if I wanted to do the same thing for myself - I said I wasn't born here, I couldn't get the earth/dirt from where I was born to put into the ground. I got a bit upset at this point. She said 'you think that matters? You birthed your babies here! You're home!' What grace is that?
Well, what a flippin' year it has been folks! Most of 2016 was taken up with pregnancy, the lead up to birthing, birthing and now caring for a delightful newborn who is making my heart full and my eyes heavy. And although this year my activism fell by the wayside and my contributions to The Ballarat Craftivist Alliance were few something quite incredible came out of those months trying to just get through the challenges of my pregnancy. For the first time in my adult life I was able to carve out a daily practice with my music. I worked daily on three seperate digital EPs, noting down all of my thoughts and developing the over-arching story of each project whilst bringing each song or arrangement to a point that is ready for recording. I haven't worked this way on my own stories in about ten years, when I was first starting out. Blimey! TEN YEARS since I fell out of the groove that I was forging for myself in my early 20s. :( The project that came together the quickest and I am hoping to have recorded first was about the making of mothers. About the enormous transformation that occurs during pregnancy, childbirth and as we find our feet as first-time parents. These songs focus on the stories of women who are trying to put themselves back together, either due to trauma experienced in the lead up to motherhood, during labour and/or birth or in the months immediately after. I recently shared some notes and lyrics from one of the tunes from this still nameless EP in a zine and will share them again here. Why not hey? The work is unfolding in stages and perhaps a nice way to move forward with work that is deeply personal is to bring the people who may be interested along for the ride: This year I also kept my hands busy sewing, I was nesting after all but in 2016 I REALLY enjoyed myself with paper craft and memory-keeping. I was telling a friend recently how much happier I am working on my songs knowing that I have this hobby to work on too. There's no presure! Everyone needs a hobby don't you think? It doesn't matter what you're doing in your professional life or what your daily work entails, hobbies and interests = self care and down-time... a luxury for many really but important... for me it's vital. It's taken some years to work it out but I need this time, it has to be factored into my week and if other things have to be missed to make it happen then so be it. As I get older, seeing my peers take so many different pathways on their creative journeys and seeing careers really taking shape, I am realising that creative folks inparticular need hobbies... an activity or interest that doesn't dwell in the same space as the vocation. Space to exhale! My hobby keeps my hands busy, is something I can do with my kids and I get great satisfaction completing projects using materials I love that are keepsakes, telling the stories of my family as my kids are growing up. This year it was all about the baby ofcourse and I was gifted some great crafting materials: But back to writing... I also want to share some thoughts about another 5 track I put togther this year. The EP is called Bloodlines, the image below is a mock-up single cover for the track In The Next Room. I am keen to use the design but I think I'll drop the snowflakes. The image was taken in the hills around town out here in the Western Highlands. In this spot the bush is coming back to life after some small fires from last Summer. It felt like a fitting image because although these songs were inspired by loss I was pregnant with my son. So Bloodlines is being recorded at my home in Ballarat and will be produced by myself and my husband, guitarist Jeremy Rough. It comprises of two original tracks, one traditional Irish lullaby and two folk anthems, one of which I reworked entirely.
As I touched on above, this humble project came to life during a period of great change for myself and for my extended family. The original tunes were written as my family were collectively experiencing loss and a painful reconciliation with the past. Each song tells a unique story and yet marks out a chapter in a much bigger story. The bigger story is inspired by the recent history of my mother's family and so I will most definately be dedicating this project to them. I can not wait to get these projects published and will continue to share the stories that inspired them. Getting these songs down during such a physically and mentally challenging time was such a revelation to me and I hope I can hang onto the habits that allowed me to develop so much work this year. With another babe on the scene it will be interesting to see how I go but I feel like I am definately coming back from something , coming back from somewhere perhaps? Not just moving forward after a very difficult pregnancy but coming through a fog that has been hanging around my head for the best part of the last decade. I recently posted some words and picture on Instagram as part of that silly 2006v2016 thang and after writing this up I have realised I was gearing up to take a journey as a songwriter back then... but then quite a different journey started. I want to write more about this soon I think because the themes of the last decade are definately coming out in my songs now. Anyway, here's to 2017! Sláinte! Siobhán I organised three very different community groups to participate in Michelle Hamer's workshops at The Lost Ones gallery in the lead up to her exhibition and it was wonderful to also take part myself. I loved the premise of this work and what each group came up with using Michelle's 'flashcards' in the workshops. Simple stories, told with four cards, captured in four frames in a photobooth. ‘There are no Words’ explores the gaps between what words mean, how language is used & the ways in which this both facilitates & inhibits our understanding of each other. My little friend Tallulah turned 12 recently and i headed out into our town with her and her little gal pals to have a photography party! YEAH! I put together this print out for the girls and bossed them around a little bit with photography tips and things to look out for. They were mostly busy dancing and singing to their favs tunes but it was a nice afternoon and pretty much everyone took part in the photo challenge. Below are my contributions. I didn't do as well i thought i would! ;) I missed a couple, probably too busy being bossy! ;) 1.FRIENDSHIP 2.COLOUR 3.LOOK UP 4.LOOK DOWN 5.REFLECTION We went down an alley to look at some art and i pointed out this blacked out window to the girls as a potential surface to get a good reflection off of. I forgot to actually get a good reflection shot though! UH OH! FAIL! 6.NATURE 7.ARCHITECTURE 8.BLACK & WHITE 9.BACK LIGHT I think i mentioned to the kiddos how to use the sun for back-light and creating a sweet sun flare, shame i didn't take the time to take my own advice. This is as close as i got without trying! Another FAIL! Cute pic of my mate though! ;) 10.'TELL A STORY' Here's a little picture-story about our day out in Ballarat. 11.SELF PORTRAIT Obviously Niamh wasn't shooting so i took her selfie for her! 12.TALLULAH A portrait of the Birthday Girl! fun |
Shed space and skin/
Let the light finally in/
To lean and blend the deep dreams/
This time is yours//
#TinyTwitterPoems by @lylyee
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